


(don’t) forget me

by goldengalaxies



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Action, Amnesia, Drama, Fluff, Hospitals, Light Angst, M/M, Temporary Amnesia, kind of panic attack in chapter 2 be warned, neil will be called chris in the first chapters bc he doesn’t remember his fake name as neil, they rebuild their relationship :)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-23 21:22:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18710206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldengalaxies/pseuds/goldengalaxies
Summary: After a game, Neil takes a hit to the head and forgets everything from the past years. He thinks his name is Chris, that his mother is alive, and doesn’t remember any of the foxes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovelies! I’ve been reading tons of amnesia fics recently bc they are so freaking good and i love this trope, so i thought i’d give it a shot myself :)
> 
> Please enjoy! <3

Chris blinked slowly as he came to. He tried to open his eyes properly, but they felt swollen and sore. He felt dozy as he moved to sit up, and his hand was yanked back as he tried to rub his eyes. He pulled his arm again, only to realise something is attached to his inner wrist, trapping him there.

Panic rose in his chest, making his heart squeeze uncomfortably. What was going on? He groaned in pain, moving his free hand to feel at his chest. A sharp stinging sensation overtook his body as he put a hand to his body, the thin material between his palm and his chest doing nothing to buffer the pain.

His brows furrowed; distantly he noted that the fabric felt familiar, but through the haze, he couldn’t quite concentrate enough to grasp fully at the thought.

Where was he? Where was his mother?

He suddenly grasped the thin material in his fingers, hoping desperately it wasn’t what he thought it was.

He attempted to push himself up again, more frantic in his attempt this time. He looked down to see an IV line stuck into his arm, liquid dripping through the clear tube and into his arm.

Fuck. He _was_ in hospital. His mum was going to kill him.

He ripped the needle out of his arm, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He spied a pile of clothes in the corner of the room, and made to grab them.

“Woah, slow down there.” Someone spoke up from beside him.

Chris jumped in alarm, flinching away from the noise. He hadn’t even realised that other people were in the room.

His head throbbed. What the fuck had happened to him?

He turned, meeting the eyes of a dark-skinned boy with dark curly hair. Concerned brown eyes met Chris’. “Dude, are you okay?” The boy asked, reaching out to hold Chris’ arm, which was bleeding now. Shit, he shouldn’t have ripped that IV out so forcefully.

Who the hell was this? Where _was_ his mum?

Chris twisted his arm out of the dark haired boy’s grip and opened his mouth to speak. “Wh-“

A sigh sounded from another in the room, cutting him off. “He’s fine, Nicky, it was only a small hit on the head.” The boy was lounging on a visitors chair, his head nonchalantly lolling against the wall. An identical looking boy sat next to him, looking all too similar but oh so different at the same time. Chris guessed they were twins.

The one dressed in all black combined merely raised a cool brow, looking thoroughly interested by the spectacle.

“Neil?” The boy- Nicky, Chris assumed- asked suddenly.

Chris frowned. They were all looking at him as if he was going to answer the question.

Silence reigned throughout the room as the three boys looked at him expectantly.

“What?” Chris asked, unsure of what else to do. _Who_ were these people?

“What do you mean, what?” Nicky asked.

“Sit back down.” One of the twins ordered. He looked amused, but a glint of something Chris didn’t understand flickered in his eyes.

“No.” Chris’ automatic response was to deny the order. Who did this kid think he was?

The boy only rolled his eyes. “For once, try not to kill yourself, Josten, and get back on the bed. I’ve become attached, and my things don’t get to leave without my say so.”

Chris only gaped, his brain feeling slow. He didn’t understand a word of what was just said to him. Who was Josten? Did that boy just claim Chris as his _think_?

A cigarette appeared in his fingers and he held one out to Chris. “You want one?”

“What?” Chris said dumbly, the normalcy of the offer throwing him off.

The boy stood up and walked towards him as if to give him the cigarette, but that was enough for Chris.

He needed to leave.

Spinning on his bare feet, he scooped up the clothes he had spotted earlier and pushed through the door, sprinting out of the room and into the corridor.

He immediately bumped into someone in the hallway; a sweet looking girl, with blonde and pastel purple hair. Her bright smile melted into a puzzled expression as she took in his state.

“Neil?” There it was again- that name. Chris shook his head, backing away hurriedly.

What was going on? He felt his hands begin to shake slightly, and broke into a sprint, shoving passing people out of the way.

The confusion of waking up in the hospital surrounded by people had made him slow and unthinking, but he felt clearer now. He needed to escape, and now. His mother would likely slap him for staying this long.

His bare feet stung as the slapped against the cool tiles. If the hospital directory that was placed all around him was right, this last hallway would take him to an emergency exit that led to a car park. That meant gravel, possibly the stony type that would cut his feet into raw slabs of meat. That meant blood, and blood meant leaving a trace- he needed to find a place to change.

“Neil!” The dark haired boy- Nicky- from before had returned.

 _Shit_. He was faster than Chris had expected.

Chris stopped suddenly, swerving into a small room. An elderly woman screamed in surprise at his sudden entrance. He heard the staff outside shout in response, so Chris only had time to tug on the sneakers. “Sorry!”

He burst into the car park, still running when a hand wrapped around his middle, stopping him suddenly.

“Neil!” A gruff voice shouted. He had greying hair and tribal tattoos that snaked their way around the biceps that hugged Chris’ body tightly. “Stop fucking running, kid, what the hell are you doing?”

Chris squirmed desperately, kicking the man in the shin. Was this one of his father’s men? “Get the fuck off me!”

The man let go immediately, retracting his hand as if he had been burnt. Chris lost his balance and fell back onto the asphalt, not expecting his request to be accepted.

If this was one of his father’s men, he must be new. All of Nathan’s closest would never let go of Chris once they got their hands on him.

“Oh my God! Are you okay?” A muscled, dark-skinned girl asked. She had a soft, caring smile, that made Chris want to immediately trust her.

“Dude! Why are you running?” The boy next to her exclaimed at the same the time.

Why were there so many people? This couldn’t be his father’s work- he would never employ thugs so young (inexperience was a bitch to solve he always said), and there were 3 out of the 4 that all had to be under that age of 21. The older man, maybe.

“Neil?”

“Who the fuck is Neil?” Chris shouted, losing any ounce of control he had left.

“What the fuck?” The boy exclaimed. “You’re Neil?”

What? That didn’t make any sense.

His head pounded.

What the hell was going on? The last thing he remembered was going to sleep in the shitty motel room that his mother had picked out for the night. They had heard news of his father's men being near them in Germany and had moved the very same day to America, flying into Florida on the cheapest flights they could find.

Maybe he looked like someone that these people knew? He couldn’t think of any other reason for it.

“I’m Chris, not Neil.” He tried to act as normal as possible, clenching his teeth through a strained smile. He couldn’t attract any more attention to himself; he just had to find his mum, and get as far away from these nut jobs as possible. It wasn’t likely they’d buy it after all the other drama that had happened, but Chris had to try.

“Are you joking?” The dark-skinned girl from before frowned in concern, dropping to crouch next too him. She reached out to touch him and he moved to slap her wrist away. Her strong hand grabbed hold of his before he could touch her, however.

“Stop, Neil.” It was calming and authoritative at the same time, and Chris couldn’t help but listen to her, despite the hot spike of panic, anger and fear that followed that name. It was scaring him now. He’d had many names- none of which had been Neil.

This could just be all a misunderstanding, but what were the chances they all thought he was this Neil person?

He didn’t understand anything.

The exit door burst open, revealing the three boys from before.

“You found Neil, then?” Aaron panted as he spoke to the older man.

Neil groaned. Those crazies knew each other?

“Yes.” The older man said slowly, a constipated look on his face. “But-“

“My name is Chris.” He interrupted.

“- _that_ keeps happening.” The man finished.

“What the fuck, Neil?” Nicky stared at him in bewilderment.

“My name is Chris.” He repeated determinedly. Absently, he realised he should probably just take them out and not give his (fake) name to them. His mother might make him change it again after this.

A tall, blonde girl crossed her arms, looking at him with distaste. She was tall and dressed as if it was twenty degrees hotter than it actually was in an expensive looking mini skirt. Her Gucci top was cropped, showing off an impressive set of abs. “Did you take any unprescribed drugs, Neil?”

Aaron snorted. “As if. He doesn’t have the balls.”

The older man sighed and fixed a look at the three boys. “I know _he_ wouldn’t. Did one of you give him anything?”

“No, Andrew’s boring now.” Aaron snarked, throwing a dark look back at his twin.

Chris didn’t even know these people and they were talking about him as if he wasn’t there.

“Watch yourself.” Not-Aaron (Andrew?) flicked his cigarette to the floor, raising a cool eyebrow that sent a shiver down Neil’s spine. Aaron’s gaze flickered down, redirecting his irritated glare to the floor.

“Andrew.” The older man said in a warning tone.

“Coach.” Andrew matched the tone, replying mockingly.

The group were fully focused on the twins and ‘Coach’, giving Chris the opportunity to begin sliding away.

“Shouldn’t we be focused on Neil right now guys?”

Busted. Chris froze, in the middle of pushing himself away.

“Neil.” Andrew began to approach him.

“I think you have the wrong person, sorry.” Chris tried his best to look apologetic, but his temper was beginning to flare. He needed to get out of here, he didn’t have time to deal with these people. He needed to find his mum.

What if she’d been taken? He still didn’t know what had happened- the night's events were dreamlike, moments blurred out and others in flashes of clarity.

What if she’d been captured? What if-

He felt sick. He couldn’t lose her, he couldn’t be alone. What would he do without her?

“What’s wrong with him?” The blonde girl asked.

“I don’t know, Allison.” Coach replied.” Call Renee, would you? She needs to get a doctor out here ASAP.”

Chris sprung into action as soon as the phone appeared in her hand. He could already see a car that looked relatively easy to hot-wire from his spot on the floor. If he could just pick a moment while they were all distracted enough and run fast enough, he could make it.

He tore his gaze away from the car, to lock eyes with Andrew, who had been staring at him. His hazel eyes burned with something unidentifiable that made Chris shift uncomfortably on the pavement.

“Get up.” Andrew said. Even though it was said quietly enough, it was enough to catch hold of the group's attention, who all fell silent.

Chris stood up, cursing silently, furious that his opportunity had passed. He wouldn’t be able to leave quietly now.

A group of doctors came through the doors and surrounded him. They busied themselves around him, checking his vitals and asking the others questions.

He kept his eyes locked with Andrew’s, letting the world blur around him.

It was only when Andrew quirked a smile, that the trance was broken and Chris remembered his instinct to fight, hitting the nearest nurse in the throat. The nurse let out a choked cough of surprise and another person shouted. He felt a needle puncture through his skin. The suppressant worked in a matter of seconds and Chris felt his limbs loosen immediately. He had begun to fall, when a strong pair of arms caught his back, holding him tightly to their chest.

He slipped into unconsciousness with Andrew staring down at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is only going to be three chapters long i’m pretty sure, if i ever update... lol I’m really terrible at updating because once i’ve posted something i literally forget all about it, so i’m sorry.
> 
> butttt, i’m hoping this will be a short one and be finished quickly for you all :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are very much appreciated, thank you so much for reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw this fic does kinda take place in an AU, but it’s mostly the same as canon, just a little different timeline because i can’t remember when everything happened so i’m just making this up as i go. 
> 
> Basically, Andrew and Neil are in the stage of their relationship where they kiss and stuff but nobody really knows even tho they can sense The GayTM. Also, Kevin knows about neil being nathaniel but no one else does. 
> 
> I hope that makes sense but let me know if you have any questions :)

Chris woke to voices. On instinct, he went to sit up but a thought stopped him before he moved. Maybe he should listen in on them? It could give him some information about what was going on. Who knows what they would tell him? He didn't trust any one of them to tell him the truth. He needed to know what was happening if he was going to get out of here- undetected this time.

”What does that mean?” He was pretty sure that was said by Allison, the blonde from the parking lot. He pursed his lips, trying to keep his breathing even, trying not to attract any attention.

“It means it will take a considerable time for all the memories to full return.” This was said by a new voice, one that Chris didn’t recognise.

Memories?

His body itched to run. He couldn’t stay long.

“How long are we talking doc?” The older man from the parking lot asked.

“A month, most likely, to get most of his memories and mannerisms to return. However, it could take years for everything to fully return.”

Were they talking about him?

“Years?” Nicky gasped.

“It it a possibility, yes. It could take a matter of weeks, but it could also take twice as long. It differs from patient to patient.”

His head ached from the effort to concentrate. He felt like he was floating, unable to focus fully on the conversation occurring around him, but unable to tune it out. He registered the words, but his brain felt unwilling to process anything.

“What can we do to help?” Someone asked.

“Just keep telling him things about his past, or try bringing objects that might jog his memory. Photos are good, if you have any.”

“Alright, thanks, Doc.” The Coach said.

There was silence, the scuffle of shoes and the sound of the door clicking shut before someone else spoke up. The noises sounded overly loud and made his head ache. Chris almost flinched, but the drugs had started to pump back into his body, making him too tired to move.

“Why does he think his name is Chris?”

He resisted the urge to groan aloud; they _were_ talking about him.

“Maybe it’s a side effect of the amnesia.” Nicky suggested.

Amnesia? Did they think this was what had happened? That couldn’t be true, right? He’d have never stayed with such a large group, and he’d never have become so close to them for them to visit him in hospital. His mother would never allow it. Where _was_ she?

“No, it’s not. I asked the doctor if the amnesia would cause any new memories to pop up and he said it would a hundred percent not cause that.” The words felt jumbled in Chris’ head; the morphine making him slow.

“So-“

“What does that mean?”

“His name really was Chris?”

“That makes no sense!” Someone argued. It was hard to pick out who was speaking with his eyes closed, and they kept shouting over each other. Chris’ headache didn’t do anything to clear the confusion either.

“Unless it was a fake name.”

“What?” Nicky scoffed. “No way was Neil a fake name.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s _Neil_.” Nicky rebuked.

“Isn’t that reason enough? He’s not exactly the least shady guy out there, is he?” Allison said. 

“Yeah, but-“

They were all agonisingly loud.

“We’ll just ask him when he wakes up.” The coach said. “Come on, two of you can stay, the rest of you get out of here.”

God, his head hurt.

“What about Kevin?” Someone asked.

“I’ll go and see him now.” The words felt as if they were travelling through a tunnel; loud but muffled.

The door swung shut with a loud bang; the sound resounded through his head. Chris couldn’t keep himself awake any longer.

* * *

He squeezed his eyes closed as quickly as he had opened them, as a dizzy feeling came over him. He clutched at his head as it throbbed. Jesus what _happened_ to him?

Two boys- Andrew and the one from the car park- sat in the corner of the room. Andrew sat with his eyes closed, relaxing back in his seat. The boy next to him was the exact opposite of calm, sitting upright, wringing his hands. Every so often, he was giving Andrew nervous glances.

Chris felt like screaming. Would these psychos ever leave him alone?

“Who the hell are you people?”

“Neil!” The boy leapt up, his lips splitting into a grin. “You’re awake! How are you feeling?”

“Who are you?” Chris repeated.

The boys head jerked back, and his lips fell down into a frown.

“Are you deaf, Boyd, or just plain dumb? He has amnesia.” Andrew rolled his eyes at the other boy, who clenched his jaw angrily, as if biting back a rebuttal.

Chris watched warily as the smaller boy got up from his chair slowly, as graceful as a cat. He was instantly aware of him; Andrew had that sort of dangerous glint in his eye that made people so dangerous.

He locked eyes with Andrew. They stood there in awkward silence for a pause.

“Well, um- I’m Matt. Matt Boyd.” The boy broke the silence.

“Andrew.” Andrew said, leaning back to shove his hands in his pockets.

“I know.” Chris said.

“You do?” Matt asked excitedly. “Do you remember anything else?”

“No- no, I just heard it earlier, or- yesterday?”

Matt nods at his question. “Yeah, sorry man, they knocked you cold. It’s been about a day since then.”

Fuck.

He felt off balance here; he didn’t know what was true and what they thought was true. They all seemed to believe it. Was his memory really gone?

But why would they think his name was Neil? Besides, his mother would never let this many people be near him. “Look, I think you have the wrong person. I don’t have amnesia, my name is Chris and you need to tell the doctor that you don’t know me so I can leave.”

“No.” Andrew said.

“Excuse me?”

“You have some serious injuries, Neil.” Matt cut in, earning himself a scathing look from Andrew. “And you do have amnesia, trust me.”

Chris snorted. “Yeah right. I don’t even know you.”

“Yes, you do! You just don’t remember it.”

“Where’s the proof? Seriously, I need to get back to my mum. You need to let me go. You can actually go and find your Neil friend, because I’m not him. So call the doctor in here right now, and tell him that you all made a mistake.”

Matt bit his lip uncertainly. “Neil...”

“Fucking hell! My name is Chris!” Chris exclaimed, his fragile grip on his temper slipping as he slowly became more and more frustrated. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

Matt looked hurt, but Chris couldn’t bring himself to care.

“You really want proof?” Andrew spoke, breaking the silence.

“No shit. That is what I’ve been asking for.”

Andrew cracked a smile and stole Matt’s phone from his grip, turning it on. It was a flashy, expensive smart phone that was a huge difference from the cheap flip phones that Neil usually bought.

Andrew clicked the side button and the screen lit up, exposing the time and date.

23rd May 2006.

“Believe now, Neil?” Andrew emphasised the name, but Chris refused to take the bait. He was too shocked.

It _was_ real. Unless this was all an elaborate trick of his fathers (which he very much doubted- The Butcher wasn’t one for play acting, he preferred to go straight for the knives), he really did have amnesia.

But where was his mum? Who were all these people?

“I need to call someone.” Chris tried to suppress his panic. Maybe they’d been split up, maybe she was waiting for these people to leave, maybe they were using this group for a cover or something? Chris tried to come up with as many reasonable excuses for her absence as he could.

Matt looked puzzled. “You didn’t even have a phone before?”

Chris didn’t know how to answer this. He didn’t have any memories from this time- he didn’t know why he hadn’t had a phone. “Can I borrow your phone or not?” He snapped.

Matt’s frown slipped deeper, and his eyes became big and sad and, unless that was a trick of the light, a little bit watery.

Oh, _Christ,_ Chris did not have time to deal with this. “Please?”

Matt sniffed, which made Chris feel slightly guilty. Though, it was hard not to be- the guy was like a giant puppy. Andrew rolled his eyes but seemed to enjoy Chris’ discomfort. “Sorry, yeah, sure.” Matt chucked it over to Chris, who caught it easily. “Here.”

“Thanks.” He nodded.

For a moment the three boys looked at each other, before Chris decided enough was enough. “Are you going to leave then?” He prompted.

“What?”

“Can you leave so I can call them?” He couldn’t speak to his mum in front of them. He would also have to clear the phone of all data to remove any trace of the outgoing calls. He couldn’t let Matt keep hold of these numbers; they were all for phones hidden in safe houses dotted around the country, that they had kept incase they got split up.

His mum would be irritated that she would have to come and get him from the hospital, but he at least needed to tell her so the could leave the state altogether.

There was a total of 34 numbers for him to call so it didn’t take long. 

He called number after number, reaching voicemails or prerecorded messages. Some of them have even been cut off. By number 20, he felt sick. By number 30, a loneliness he couldn’t describe settled in his bones like a second skin.

There was a sinking feeling in his stomach that won’t go away. There was only one likely answer to all this- one that he can’t bare to think about.

His eyes squeezed shut as his heart rate kicked up, pumping furiously as panic flooded through his veins.

The thirty third number goes to voicemail and Chris _knew_. His mother was dead.

He only called number 34 to be sure.

“Hello?” His uncle’s voice floated through the receiver.

He’s never cared for his uncle Stuart, nor any of his mother’s side of the family- he’d only met them once, after all- but he feels immensely grateful when he hears someone answer.

“It’s me.” Chris didn’t feel the need to elaborate.

“Neil?” Stuart asked.

Chris can’t even find the energy to be irritated by the fact that even his estranged uncle seems to be calling him Neil. “Apparently.”

Stuart ignored his cryptic answer. “Why are you calling, Neil?”

“It’s 2006.”

The silence through the receiver was deafening.

“Yes, yes it is.” After a long pause, his uncle finally replied. 

Chris didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t bother saying anything else.

His uncle sighed loudly at Chris’ silence. “You going to explain what’s going on?”

“I have amnesia.” Chris said. “Apparently.” He added.

“Bloody hell.”

“Mm.” Chris hummed in agreement. Bloody hell indeed. 

“How many?”

“How many what?”

“How many years did you lose? Clearly you remember some things if you’re calling this number.” Chris always forgot how perceptive his uncle was. 

“Three.”

“Oh, Neil, so you don’t remember anything?” His uncle actually sounded upset by this.

“No.” The silence was thick with apprehension. They both knew what he was asking. 

“Your mother...” He trailed off, but Chris heard the unspoken words loud and clear.

Chris’ heart clenched painfully, as if someone had grabbed hold of it and _squeezed_.

“I need to go.” He didn’t bother waiting for Stuart’s reply and ended the call. His face felt wet and his breath was shaky.

He felt conflicted, a part of him devastated by the news, but a smaller, hidden part was silently relived. He had loved her, and she had loved him, fiercely, using every fibre of her being to protect him. But, in the last years, she hadn’t been a mother anymore. He knew, deep down, that she hadn’t been a good mother. She’d been a protector, a leader, a runner more than anything else.

But it still hurt. She was his only reason for living; they kept each other going, motivating each other when they felt like just giving up and letting themselves be found. It was the easy option. Running was tiring, and years of it was bone numbingly exhausting.

He felt lost without her. How could he survive by himself?

A sob rose in his throat, but he swallowed it, leaning back onto the hospital bed.

That night, he dreamed of fire.

* * *

Chris had almost two days before he saw them again, giving him time to process the news of his mother’s death, for which he was glad. He still didn’t know who the group were, and what his relationship was with them.

He had at first hoped they wouldn’t come and visit him again, but he lost hope of that when his doctor had repeatedly asked if he was in the mood for visitors. Apparently, the group were staying at a hotel a block away and kept coming into the hospital to check up on him.

Chris felt mildly irritated at being treated like a three-year-old, but the confusion overtook everything else. Why did these people care so much about how he was doing? Why were they still here? He just didn’t understand.

He needed to know what his new life was like, and to get back his memories; he had to leave but he couldn’t do that without all the information. He could be walking right into a trap. Without his memories, he was in danger in the real world.

He had to stay here until they discharged him, or he got his memories back- whichever came first. Hopefully seeing them would trigger a memory.

Because of this, Chris decided to let them see him after the third day of being alone.

The group had filled in and introduced themselves. He learned that the girl from the parking lot was called Dan, and was Matt’s boyfriend. Andrew and Aaron were indeed twins, and were cousins of Nicky, who had laughed at Chris’ confused reaction. It was the kind of laugh that made Chris feel like he was missing out on some kind of inside joke between himself and Nicky.

Allison and the girl he had bumped into in the hallway, who was apparently called Renee, were also dating.

The coach was also present and introduced himself as David Wymack. This had been when the biggest surprise of them of all had come out.

Apparently, ‘Neil Josten’ was a striker for the Palmetto State Foxes.

That did explain why they were all visiting him, but he couldn’t understand why he had done this. He had put himself right in the spotlight and for what?

“I play Exy?” He couldn’t keep the shock out of his voice. “For a team?”

“Of course that’s what you focus on.” Andre sounded disgusted. Chris’ brows crinkled. What was this guy’s problem?

“So?” 

“Junkie.” 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? They were talking about exy, right? “I don’t know what that means.”

Andrew scoffed. “I hate you.”

Their eyes locked, and for one breathless moment, Chris could’ve sworn he saw Andrew’s eyes soften.

“Alright, enough eye fucking you two, I want to talk to Neil.” Nicky pushed his way through to the front of the group, coming to stand next to Andrew.

Andrew turned and punched him in the gut. Nicky’s groan was drowned out by the Coach’s warning shout. “ _Andrew!_ ”

Aaron snickered from the corner.

Wymack sighed but did nothing else. Wasn’t he supposed to be the adult here? Andrew couldn’t just go around punching people when he felt like it, in a hospital nonetheless.

Chris decided to keep silent, not knowing what kind of persona he was trying to play with ‘Neil Josten’s’ character. He assumed he wouldn’t be too loud or outspoken- that was never a character he chose. His mother had always advised that in unknown situations, silence was best.

“What is _wrong_ with you?” It slipped out with his permission.

Fucking hell, so much for quiet ‘Neil’. He realised his mistake too late. Sighing, he gave Andrew a dirty look. He might as well roll with it now. “You can’t just hit people, asshole!”

There was a sharp intake of breath in the room, but Chris couldn’t bring himself to care. Andrew’s lip curled but he didn’t bother answering.

“It’s okay, Neil, seriously.” Nicky choked out, managing a very unconvincing, watery smile.

Chris sighed internally at his lack of control. This was going to be a long couple of weeks.

* * *

 “I’m not sure this is such a good idea.” A familiar voice made his ears prick up. Chris shuffled on the bed, pushing himself up into a seated position.

“Nonsense, get your ass in there and say hello. You got off lightly compared to Neil, and everyone else is in there.”

“Coach-“

“Nope.” There was the sound of a scuffle and suddenly, Kevin Day was being pushed into his room.

Chris felt his mouth part in shock. “ _Kevin?_ ”

Ten pairs of eyes swivelled around to stare at him.

“What?” Allison gasped.

“You remember something?” Matt leapt forwards like an eager puppy, holding onto the railing of the bed.

Chris couldn’t answer. Panic flooded through his veins, pumping his heart into a frenzy.

What the fuck was he doing here? Chris was so confused, why would he ever stay in the same place as Kevin? That was incredibly dangerous, not to mention stupid and irresponsible. He wouldn’t risk his cover just to play exy would he? Did Kevin know who he was? Did any of the others?

The pain in his head was searing.

It reminded him of the feeling of a blowtorch against skin; a memory curtesy of his father’s top thug; Lola. The scar ran from the top of his shoulder, next to the bullet wound from last year, all the way down to his hips. The skin was bumpy with scarring.

He could almost feel the touch of his mothers fingers rubbing in antiseptic cream. He had cried more than he ever had that night. It had taken hours to disinfect the skin that was left. They hadn’t even tried to clean the blood that was sprayed over the bed, but set fire to the duvet behind the motel.

Chris could almost _taste_ the heat. The sickening smell of his own burning flesh mixed with smoke and the terrible mouldy stench that came from the shitty motel they were stood behind. He almost gagged, eyes watering, unlike his mother who stood stoically next to him, arms-

“Neil?” It was murmured gently, and came from Matt, who stood next to his bed looking at Chris in concern.

He snapped back to reality, groaning in pain. His hands shot up to grab hold of his head, the light pressure of his fingers against his temple doing little to calm the fiery agony.

He was in the hospital, he had to remind himself.

Kevin Day was here. Focus.

He couldn’t focus.

“You! Get in here, this kid needs a doctor!”

Was this real?

What could he say? Did Kevin know who he was?

The door burst open, revealing a group of doctors that had Chris’ heart spiking again.

Breathing was difficult- he hadn’t noticed that before, but it was. He bucked against the cuffs that encircled his wrists.

Why was he restrained? His brows furrowed in confusion, he hadn’t been cuffed only a second ago.

“Calm down, Neil.” The soothing tone did nothing to calm him and he ignored them, only increasing his effort to escape. He needed to leave. Running was his only option, running as far away as he could from Kevin.

“What the hell is going on, Kevin?” Wyamck sounded furious.

“I tried to tell you coach!”

“Jesus.” Coach sighed. “Just get out.”

Chris a sharp sting in his arm, and he turned to watch as a sedative needle entered his arm.

The last thing he thought before he lost consciousness was; oh _shit_ , not again.

* * *

”So... you know Kevin.” Andrew had walked in about half an hour ago, but hadn’t spoken- until now. Chris gave no sign that he had heard the other boy speak, staring resolutely ahead.

“You lied to me.” Andrew sounded furious- which was an unsettling change from the usual apathetic amusement.

“I don’t even know you.” Chris glared back. “Back. Off.”

“You told me your name was Abram.”

Chris’ head reared back in surprise. He told this guy his middle name? Why would he do that? He couldn’t imagine himself willingly giving that information out. That was dangerous; giving out his real name.

Although it wasn’t his first or last, which would be much worse, his middle wasn’t something he’d give out lightly. Why would he give out any information about himself at all? He knew it just wasn’t worth it- lying was the best way. Especially with how much he looked so much like his father. Any name related to his childhood could cause irreparable damage to his cover.

“What?” Why was everything so confusing now?

“You told me, that before your name was Neil, you were called Abram.”

“I told you that?” Chris tried to understand his actions, but couldn’t come up with any reason for it. Was he forced? Did Andrew find out his secret? “Why?”

Andrew ignored the question. “You told me you were telling the truth. You lied.”

Chris felt an involuntary urge to defend himself. He didn’t even know Andrew, but he felt a need to justify his actions, even if he couldn’t remember them.

He loosened a frustrated breath. Why did he even care?

“What is it then? What’s the truth?” Andrew prompted. “Don’t lie to me this time.”

Chris didn’t know him, and he didn’t have to do anything he didn’t want to. “Fuck off.”

Andrew’s eyes glinted angrily, but there was also- was that pain? Chris frowned. That didn’t make sense. He opened his mouth to speak but had no time before Andrew turned tail and left.

Chris ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach that settled as Andrew walked away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow me with an actual update?? i’m as shoOk as you are trust me
> 
> anyways, forgive me for the unedited pile of shit you just read. i will go over it but if u see any plot holes or things that don’t make sense it’s because i wrote all of these scenes out of order so idk if it’s all right and makes sense. 
> 
> still, i hope u enjoyed it nonetheless my lovelies,, please leave me a kudos or a comment below- thanks! <3


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